The Return of Oswald Bates on Radio 710 ESPN Los Angeles

Growing up I was a huge fan of the skit comedy show In Living Color that starred creators/comedians Keenan Ivory and Damon Wayans. The show ran for about 5 years and had quite a bit of talent on the show that went on to become big stars: Jamie Fox, Jim Carey and Jennifer Lopez to name a few.

Arguable, (in my book there is no argument) the real star of the show was Damon Wayans who’s characters were the most humorous and memorable of the show. I might even say iconic in some cases. When thinking of the early 90s at some point Damon’s characters on In Living Color start coming to mind, such as:

Homey the Clown; the ex con with a short temper turned freelance clown for hire.

Handi Man; the handicapped superhero.

Iceman; Part of the duo, Whiz and Iceman, that sells stolen items on the Homeboy Shopping Network which is a parody of the Shop on TV shows.

Damon had many more memorable characters but the one that I absolutely loved was Oswald Bates. Damon portrayed a prison inmate who has the impression of him being an eloquent and articulate speaker but actually has absolutely no grasp of the English language. In these skits, Oswald strings together both misappropriated and inappropriate words in a lovely chorus of English grammar debauchery and vulgarity.

Some examples of his oratory masterpieces:

“First of all, we must internalize the ‘flatulation’ of the matter by transmitting the effervescence of the ‘Indianisian’ proximity in order to further segregate the crux of my venereal infection”

“Now, if I may retain my liquids here for one moment”

“…to preclude on the issue of world domination would only circumvent – excuse me, circumcise…”

You need to check out the skit provided above to get a good understanding of what I mean. You won’t regret it.

Getting to the purpose of my post, I was listening to 710 ESPN radio in Los Angeles the other day and thought I heard similar ramblings as those of the great Oswald Bates but MOSTLY without the incorrect usage of bodily functions. I had hoped that this was the return of Oswald Bates using the sports talk forum to deliver his message of confusion.

To my disappointment, it actually wasn’t the glorious return of the great Oswald Bates, but in fact a local Los Angeles sports talk radio personality and former NFL defensive lineman, Marcellus Wiley who shares much of Oswald’s penchant for incorrectly using very large words.

Marcellus is actually an Ivy League graduate from Columbia, co-host of the immensely successful Los Angeles sports talk radio show Max and Marcellus and current NFL analyst for ESPN. Oswald could only dream of reaching such heights.

This is just an all in good fun ribbing of a very vocal Los Angeles Clipper fan who consistently bashes the Lakers on his radio show…but Oswald does remind you of Marcellus, does he not?

– Fern Rea “@fullcourtfern”